An Entire Month

Reed and I have been talking about how this day was coming up in a few days. We are genuinely surprised that an entire month has already passed. It feels as if a lifetime has passed us by and it amazes us how time keeps moving yet doesn't seem to move at all. It definetely seems surreal how everything has happened yet, we both feel like it was yesterday. That probably sounds as confusing as it feels. This first picture is one of the first hugs I received at the hospital. Of course, it's my little huggy bears...Abbie and Kaden. They always knows when I need a hug and are great about giving hugs and kisses. I loved that the kids were themselves and weren't shy about crawling up on the bed to give hugs.

Some people have asked about what the blankets looked like that we gave the children from Jacob and I realized that we posted pictures of the kids with their presents but, not what the blankets looked like. The kids love their blankets and held onto them the entire time they were at the hospital. Because Jacob was born at 4:35 a.m. the children were at the hospital REALLY early in the morning and were good sports about being there. Even after they held Jacob with their blankets, they each kept their blankets close. They were so good at the hospital even though it was early.

These next two pictures are the ones that make me cry. These pictures were taken at the Mortuary right before we closed the casket. We dressed him in his tuxedo and got to hold him for the last time. It was so sacred to be able to hold him one last time. It was so hard to let him go. He has the softest baby brown hair and I just couldn't stand not to touch his hair. It felt like this was just his body and that his spirit wasn't in it anymore. We felt him there with us and we knew he was near. Feeling this made it a little easier yet, saying goodbye was heartaching and tearful. Jacob, you have taught us so much and made us better people but today is a day to remember and ponder. We still greive for you and the loss of you being able to grow up with our family. You are precious to us and we will always remember you. You will always be apart of us. So, today marks one month on our journey to healing and we truly pray that we may find Joy in our Journey.

We love and miss you always!

Our Precious Son, Eternally Ours

Jacob Merrill Tenney

February 15, 2010