Good Mail

Amidst all the mail that we get, not all of it is pleasant. We are getting bills from the doctor, the hospital, the anesthesiologist and so on. I am really grateful today for good insurance and that it hasn't been a huge burden on us. I do hate getting them though, you paid how much to have this experience and then don't even get to keep your baby. In a way it is like throwing salt on a wound, you have all these expenses associated with it and your don't get the prize at the end.

We did get some good mail yesterday though. We finally got Jacob's birth certificate in the mail. Even though it says "Utah birth resulting in stillbirth". I got this envelope and was really excited to open it. I actually held it to my chest and sighed with relief. This birth certificate means so much because it's validation. It validates that he was a person. He wasn't just our son but, others recognize he was a person too. I don't even know how many men and women had to fight the legislature to get this certificate but I know it was a momentous day when it happened. This hasn't been possible for a lot of people in the past (I believe legislation finally passed it in 2002) but, I would love to tell each and every person that fought this fight "Thank You!!" Because of what you did, you impacted our lives. So today, I want to share my gratitude for everyone that helped us get this certificate even though at the time this was happening...we didn't know we would need that battle fought. It gives me the hope that someday maybe I could help someone win their fight. So, today I just wanted to share my gratitude that I have been validated in a small but big way and it has helped heal a small part of my heart. It is a continual healing process and yesterday we did get some good mail.